“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips or enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” Titus 2:3-5 (NASB)

On Monday I shared the reasons why it’s important to have these conversations about childbirth. Today, I want to go a little farther into why I believe this is so important from a Christian perspective.

Based on this passage in Titus 2, I believe it is the experienced Christian woman’s responsibility to talk about childbirth: to other women and especially first time mothers.

Why do I say this?

You may read Titus 2:3-5 and think, “What does this have to do with childbearing? Isn’t this talking about character and behavior?”

While I understand your thinking, I would argue that character and behavior have a lot to do with childbearing.

This passage says we teach the younger women to love their husbands and love their children so that the Word of God will not be dishonored. In childbearing we are loving our husband and loving our children to bring honor to God’s Word.

How?

We love our husbands by being intimate with them, which God uses to bring about childbearing. We love them by growing our families.

We love our children by bringing them into the world.

We love God and honor His Word by giving ourselves, giving our bodies to do what He created us to do. Jesus gave His body for us. How could we do less?

And when we live out this purpose as God gives it to us the Word of God is honored.

Therefore, let us encourage each other in childbearing. Let us educate each other on what it’s like. Let us listen with glad hearts as we hear what God has done and prepare for our own adventure in childbearing.

I know talking about pregnancy and birth can be very touchy and scary. But let’s work together to overcome this and grow together, helping one another through this season.

Let’s be Titus 2 women!

Who do you need to share with? Who do you need to seek out?

Why is talking about birth so important?

This is a really great question!

As a labor and delivery nurse I would frequently have women come in with a general knowledge of what was taking place but no real understanding of what was about to transpire. They had the expectation that they would labor for awhile, get their epidural (or not), relax and then push a baby out in an hour or less. Some had taken classes with minimal information but many thought what they saw on TV or the internet was enough to get them through.

They thought it would be easy.

I wondered at how these women had acquired such unrealistic expectations.

In caring for my patients it was challenging to see the lack of education. Often I would educate on what was happening and if labor was already going strong it was a quick education of what was happening and what they were going to have to do.

If only they had known what to really expect.

Occasionally I would have the woman whose circle of friends had told her every horror story they could think of causing tremendous amounts of fear. While I’m all for realism and sharing your story, this type of sharing often caused a lot of damage and the woman would be terrified at what was happening, affecting her labor.

Again quick education was needed, but often times it was hard to help them think clearly and focus on the moment.

If only they had known it might be different.

When I began to have my own babies, I spoke with women who had gone before me, especially about un-medicated labor, to find out what their experiences had been like. Though I knew about childbirth intellectually from working as a nurse, I began to see everybody had different experiences and different ways of coping in labor. They also made different decisions because of different reasons and circumstances.

As I prepared for my first birth I took advice from other women and combined ideas to make my plan. I realized how helpful this was and wanted to share this kind of support with others.

Seeing the lack of education and knowledge in the women I helped taught me how much we need to be having conversations about birth! Talking to the women, my Sisters in the faith, who had walked through labor and birth before me taught me four important reasons to have childbirth conversations.

1. Talking about birth and learning from each other unifies us in the love of Christ and encourages us in our faith.
2. Having these conversations allows us to learn from those who have gone before and/or allows us to encourage those who are coming behind us.
3. We learn to trust God with our labor and birth as we hear what God has done for others and not give way to fear.
4. When we converse with other women we get a diversified education about the incredible blessing of birth. 

This is what I want to see among all women!

During my fourth pregnancy, God started giving me a vision for this type of unity and fellowship among His daughters. Too often our fears, our preferences, our thoughts about what we think is right divide us and keep us from being able to help each other. Birth, in particular, is very touchy for almost everyone.

But this should not be among God’s people.

We need, instead, a place to share experiences graciously and receive from others well.

How beautiful it would be for Christian Sisters to ask questions and to share stories without fear and judgement! And this is why we have these conversations. To bring about this beautiful sisterhood to love and encourage one another in who God has created us to be and bring Him glory.

Let’s encourage each other.

Let’s learn from each other.

Let’s trust God with our births.

Let’s educate ourselves so we’re ready for this incredible miracle.

I see a beautiful Sisterhood coming together to have these Childbirth Conversations. What about you?

We need each other, Sisters! God created us for community.

“I’m not a doctor? Why should I learn about childbirth?”

Many in our culture wonder about this exact thing. With all of the medical advancements, isn’t it best to just go with what our providers say and not ask questions?

My question to you is, why learn anything?

Why do we learn to eat and walk? Why learn how to cook, clean or do your laundry? Why bother learning to read and how to do math? Why learn how to ride a bike or drive a car?

Practically we learn these things to survive and hopefully thrive. But more than that we learn these things to do what God created us to do and that is to live to bring Him glory.

God created us to be learners as well as childbearers and life givers. He designed us to learn more about this world He created and I believe God desires for us to learn what we can about those things He has given to us. If you are a woman then it brings God glory for you to learn about childbearing. What a blessing to learn about this amazing miracle!

So why learn about childbirth?

Learning is a gift!

We are blessed in our culture to be able to learn about the process of pregnancy and birth as well as have choices and options available to us. Many around the world do not have access to this kind of information nor do they have choices. But we do! What a joy and privilege to know about childbirth to the best of our abilities and prepare for it!

Learning helps us know what to expect!

Though we can never know everything there is to know about pregnancy and birth, we can learn what is normal and what is not so we can best respond. For example, if you’re having mild pains and aches and know this is normal you know to rest and not worry. When you know that excruciating pain is not normal, you can call our doctor and get to the hospital as soon as possible.

Learning helps us to thrive!

When we know generally what to expect, what is normal, we can be at peace when things come up in the day to day. When we learn what is helpful in pregnancy and what is harmful we’re able to make wise decisions. When we know our options and what is available to us we can plan to the best of our ability. And all of this helps us to have the best pregnancies, births and transitions to motherhood possible, which allows us to thrive during this season!

A slight word of warning. I do believe it is important to know generally what can go wrong and signs of it, because it’s important to know if you have warning signs of a problem and know how to respond. But don’t go and completely terrify yourself. Stay away from people who push horror stories. Education is for edifying, not tearing down!

So now it’s time to learn!

Do you know what is considered normal and what is not? Do you know what an epidural is and how it is done? Do you know why a c-section might be medically necessary? Do you know what your birthing options are? Do you know how to ask questions?

These are just a few of the many things to learn about with regard to birth. Again, you cannot know everything, but I believe God is glorified when we seek to know more about His design and how to step into this beautiful miracle.

Where do you want to begin learning?

Share in the comments areas of pregnancy, childbirth and transition to motherhood you would like to know more about!

“I want to start a family.”

“I’m pregnant! Now what?”

“Where to I begin to prepare? I have so many questions.”

If you have thought anything like this, Childbirth Conversations is for you!

I was trained as a Labor and Delivery nurse in one of the “baby factories” in the US. Being trained in a highly medical environment, I frequently saw unnecessary medical interventions leading to undesired outcomes. Seeing this constantly, I inadvertently became a “natural nazi.” Medical interventions should be kept to a minimum and everything would be fine.

I then moved to Louisville, where natural is the norm, even meeting people regularly who took natural to the extreme, and it made me question my own thoughts on natural birth. Did I really believe that natural birth was really superior to other types?

What’s worse is I saw these extremes in the women of God and it was dividing the church. On one side you had your naturals, who at times came close to saying it was more spiritual to have a natural birth while on the other people who would do whatever medical interventions sounded good without knowledge of them and thought those who didn’t follow suit were crazy. There was hurt and misinformation on both sides. Most felt like they couldn’t speak. In seeing this divide I realized there was a deep problem!

That’s when God impressed upon my heart to work towards brining unity among His people in pregnancy and childbirth. I repented of my own sinful thinking of natural is somehow better and realized there is a place for all of it in God’s Kingdom.

No where does God dictate how or where we are to give birth!

Thus began the spark of Childbirth Conversations. It began as a desire to bring women together to talk about pregnancy and childbirth without fear of judgement and ridicule. This remains the primary desire, but it has grown far beyond that to also giving well rounded education, information and experiences so that, by the grace of God, women can make well informed decisions and be as confident as possible in their decisions as well as being as prepared as possible for their birth.

While pregnancy and childbirth is a beautiful blessing, the journey to motherhood can be a crazy and scary time.

But YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

There are millions of women before you who have walked the path and can help you along the way.

Childbirth Conversations is just that; conversations about preparing, pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum and adjusting to motherhood. We are here to tell stories, give information and to help and encourage each other as we walk through this time of life. It’s a place to learn information from all sides and let God lead you into what’s best for you, into His plan for your life.

So will you join me on this journey? There is so much to learn and tell during this wonderful season!

Do you have a story to tell?

Do you have a question (or many questions) to ask?

I want to hear from you and others need to hear from you too! Come join the conversation and create a community that helps and encourages each other to step into this time well. We are in this together!

Comment below or email me at Emmie@childbirthconversations.com. I’m excited to hear from you!